This is your warning that there is a quasi-rant below. It is intended for your amusement at my expense.
Tonight, my friends, I am at my personal best. Evidence is listed below. I defy you to find a point when I’ve been a finer female specimen.
* I have not cleaned a single room or cooked/baked a single thing for the houseful of people I have coming over Saturday for the annual Christmas party. Still have several boxes of indoor decorations to put up and the outside has not been touched save for a snowman I put up on my door. I am in panic mode but cannot do anything about it because…
* I am an idiot and did not consider the fact that Thomas Jefferson University Hospital in Philly, where I’m having my back surgery next week, is a campus. Not a building. Since my back pain makes it difficult to stand for more than about a minute or so, I haven’t exactly exercised much lately. Therefore, walking from building to building down numerous city blocks and back for my battery of pre-admission tests and meetings yesterday did a hell of a number on my now completely and ridiculously sore thighs. And, I pulled my calf. Perfect. If you thought it was funny when I walked before, you should see me today. I should just crawl along the floor. It would look more normal.
* The dogs. Ugh, the dogs. Tonight’s game is a new one and I’m not amused. It goes something like this: Rio positions her face about 5 inches from Layla’s face, then growls and barks at her until Layla gets fed up enough to lunge at her. Rio humps the hell out of her, they roll around fighting on my lap until I break it up, and the whole debacle begins again from the start.
* Just to make things more interesting, the rest of my body hurts because I have a wicked cold and a fever. Both of these things had better kick it quickly due to the aforementioned party on Saturday, the research proposal I still have to finish but can’t think straight long enough to be able to work on, and the fact that my docs won’t even consider operating on me if I have so much as a hangnail.
* Current incredibly stylish outfit that perfectly compliments my bright red nose and red, swollen eyes: black hot-pink-lipstick-kiss-printed Victoria’s Secret flannel pajama pants, kelly green wife beater, ancient blue hooded Navy sweatshirt courtesy of my little brother from when he was in the service. No makeup. Ponytail. How’s that for an image? Needless to say my love, who is currently across the country on a business trip, and I will not be FaceTiming this evening.
At least the Christmas tree is on and it looks sparkly and pretty, if not a little bit blurry. Now, I hope you all feel better about yourselves and got a decent half chuckle out of my current pathetic state.